The Helpless Man Theory The best counsel for men in relationships By New Frank
Dear men…face it, this book is not long, like most of ours, but it will get the job done. We have had quite a time to understand women; their beauty alone can make us walk into a wall. The right woman can melt the heart of the local bad boy and change him into something special. I have a simple solution that will help you in one area. I dare not attempt to claim to such a feat as to say this will solve your problems with women, but after you read this, you will not be the same man. I promise you. Women are complicated but also cooperative if you know how to decipher their code. Try the new concept: “The Helpless Man Theory” is when you choose to give up “part” of your career because you are helpless in love. Let us start with a joke to relax your mind…
A couple goes to a doctor to discuss their relationship, the doctor asks the woman, “What is wrong with your husband?” The woman says, “My husband sucks…” The doctor then turns and asks the husband the exact question, “What’s wrong with your wife?” He replies, “She doesn’t suck.”
Reading between the lines, in this joke, the couple are both frustrated and are talking about two different issues. The husband sucks to the woman because of his lack of not showing affectionate love, and maybe he’s never at home, works too much, never sends her flowers. Doesn’t write silly notes, no simple loving emoji’s texts to her in the middle of the day and not financially responsible for her well-being and household or just has a cold persona, etc.
The wife sucks to the husband for her lack of not giving physical or visual love. The Physical part is a given for adults, but to give visual love within moderation, of course, is stroking his ego, looking sexy for him unexpectedly, enable him to watch TV or play sports with his friends, or allowing the man to be a big kid again, etc.
Men are stimulated visually; women are more emotional with a little daily dash of affection. We should not become overzealous and turn ourselves into a soft octopus man, grabbing or texting her every five minutes. Needy men are not sexy; if she wants more, she knows where to find you. Remember, less is always more; let her hunt for you sometimes.
“Is it true that all we need is love?” The world believes so, and according to most popular songs. I found this to be true withstanding on its own merits, that to love a woman is not enough. You must achieve one last level in the beginning or in the intermediate present. This attainable task rakes as high as love, and with assurance and conviction, you both must reach the stage to become… best friends. With that said, let us begin, and with any luck, when you finish reading this, you too will become a part of -The Helpless Man Theory. (HMT)
Let us go back to the beginning to answer the relationship question. When God made Eve, He said to Adam this is your “Helpmate.” God does not waste words, so let us focus on why He said “helpmate.” When we forget that, and if you take away your wife’s part to “help,” you will inevitably lose your “mate.” Such as the Trinity, according to the Bible, which includes completion of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. All three are the same but services and purpose are different.
The trinity between man, woman, and a child works the same, all are human, but all three have different roles to perform, working as one family unit. On Earth as it is in Heaven. When it came to the idea of how to deal with humankind, I am sure the concept was discussed as a family in heaven, but for argument’s sake, what if it wasn’t, what would that be like? I know you heard the story about the war in Heaven that happened long ago.
God is ageless and perfect, but some of His sons (Angels) were dysfunctional, causing problems to the degree of exiled from heaven falling to earth. Their goal was to torment and tempt humanity into darkness, bringing war against their brothers and themselves. This behavior was escalating, so God sent someone to save man (humans) from themselves and reconnect the bond of love that was lost through disobedience.
Imagine 2000 years ago God walking up to Jesus, looking down at His Son, he is fast asleep, a hand reaches down and shaking his bed. Speaking in a strong kind voice. God Speaks “Hey, Jesus, wake up; they are going crazy down there on Earth, and Prozac has not been invented yet.
I and the Holy Spirit were up late last night… and it has been decided that You are going to Earth to die for the sins of everyone. So get up, and get dress. I found a woman named Mary; she will be your earth mother, so hurry up… I cannot hold Joseph back forever; see You in nine months… and Son…good luck.” God snaps His fingers, and Jesus finds Himself inside of Mary’s womb, and the rest is history.”
This is not an accurate depiction of the true course of events, but it shows the importance of having a good sense of humor about life. Remember, when you come home, take off the suit or uniform, put on everyday clothes. Switch your mood to normal. Woman enjoys a man that can be serious and make her giggle with laughter. Little silliness; wrestle with your kids on the floor, and play with the dog.
Leave the dining table once a week and eat in front of the TV with your family. Do not let your career become so important that you lose your sense of celebrating life and family. Give your helpmate uninterrupted time alone, make the necessary arrangements, no business calls, and hire a nanny. If only for an hour, once a week, at least she knows that it’s wifey time. Men!.. God will never force His will upon you because you are in His family. Follow His example with your loved ones. Channel your anger, hitting or abusing your family is not the answer; please seek professional counseling.
We teach that women are attracted to successful men throughout life. This is not a new revelation; females would prefer a male that can pay for his meals, sustain a job and acquire a place of residence. The majority of women may not need the male’s money; just knowing he has some security to provide assistance is adequate. A man comes into a woman’s life and adds to her necessities; he does not eat her food, drive her car, sleep in her bed, and stay rent-free. He must become an active contributor with the goal of becoming her husband.
If the upbringing pedigree is of wealthy mannerisms, then rich males should not allow their richness to be their crown or identity to control or manipulate. Money is not your crown; how you treat her in public can be a façade; behind closed doors will always reveal the choice whether she wants to be your helpmate for life. In other words, reframed from trying to buy adoration, make sure she loves you, not your money.
The science of love and the mathematical equation of how men think can be fuse together with two common words, good and responsible. The notion of a Responsible man means in spite of how he feels about the woman emotionally, he will still stand with her and against all odds to his dying breath, denying his own happiness.
A good man loves his woman but sometimes lacks the courage to search out and understand the meaning of male responsibility. He cannot keep a job or create enough self-employment to take care of his immediate family. This may be partly due to his upbringing, or as an adolescent, his male role models may have offered him illicit advice on women. Our goal as men is to try to be good and responsible to our helpmate.
“Are you too successful as a man?” Success is a figurative pregnancy; you must prepare your life for the constant changes, and if you come into money or fame too fast, the water rapids of constant misconceptions of what to buy, how to save money, and whom to help with money will tear you apart giving birth to permanent separation from God, family, friends, and helpmate. You must take authority; unchecked and unmanaged success can turn a quiet Joe into a party animal, opening doors to alcohol, drug abuse, random casual sex partners, and depletion of funds.
People in high places will allow your income level to increase by offering you golden prospects; we call them (opportunities of a lifetime.) Tiny mental ropes are placed around your body until bound with addictions. You can be unsuccessful at being successful every time you concede; a little piece of yourself is lost. Make sure your moral compass is not being compromised as you rise up the ladder of success. Remember, a ladder is a two-way sword it can take you up high or down low.
Maximum success can equal lonely nights and days for your helpmate waiting for your short-lived arrivals. Shopping sprees, cash money, homes, trips, and jewelry as a substitute for being absent from her life is a critical lapse of judgment. What she really wants is time with you… idiot, the man she married! Once again, the same thing that attracts women to men can be the very thing that repeals them away. When you decided you need a wife, she must become your new number one. Pull the car over and tell your career to get in the backseat and gently place your wife in the front seat.
Your career is now in the backseat with big pouting eyes, complaining about being second place. This is your moment to discover what you really want: [A]. Let her go so she can find a man to please and love her just right. [B]. Make the sacrifice and scale back your career, give her more attention, and attend to her needs. At your own discretion and by the works of your hands, how long your woman will stay in the front seat is your choice … choose wisely.
Whether you prefer a small or large career, you can still find love. If you want a big career and a happy woman, you both must grow together, which means having a cutoff point, calculations of how much money is enough, and plan your slow retirement to live your dreams. Bring her on the journey mentally and/or physically, whichever is applicable at the time. This should be a listen and discuss meeting. (No one-sided conversations.)
When men receive a promotion, we think as providers and generate provisions to our stature. Most men want the public to know just how successful they are in business. The male strives for higher responsibility, more employees/ high end-customers/ devoted fans, unlimited purchasing power, access to Mad Money, and the respect of the everyday common person to admire their wealth status. This is an account of what excites men in their careers when they received a breakthrough promotion.
Women think as environmentalist and wonders about the exposure of your new environment. Yes, she is happy that you got your dream, but women have a backup generator that measures their credits and liabilities base on the relativity of time. She adds and subtracts to understand your surroundings, thinking to herself, “does this new promotion give me more or less time with you?” She also processes whom will you be spending that time with, the secretary, co-workers, ex-girlfriend, or the female boss, etc.
She factors in business trips, late nights at the office, road trips, hotels, having lunch with the same person(s), nightclubs, bars, or traveling out of the country, etc… Within minutes she has a symbolic SWOT assessment (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats); good or bad, she may not divulge her true feeling for fear of being label a dream killer.
Men, be ready; success attracts the most beautiful women you will ever see. All coming in your direction. Beautiful women will become a part of your inner circle. They will find reasons to see you daily, gaining your trust and attention to lure you away from your real helpmate. Most men realize that when they allow the fantasy woman to break up their home, eventually she will become intolerable to live with, leaving you scorned and waddling in deep regrets. Do not outsource peace in your home for temporary beautiful flesh. Listen to your helpmate; in most cases, she will give you the best advice, save you time and money. Use your “head” and be smart; leave the green grass on the other side alone!
Women are territorial creatures and take their position serious. Even if a man is faithful, a beautiful woman has the power to camouflage herself into your life or daily routine. This woman (work wife) will take everything from you and ruin your name. Case in point, the cautionary tales of the Biblical sources: (Samson and Delilah) and (David and Bathsheba.) Men, when you allow other women to assist you or have a simple lunch at work every day, evidence shows this act will lead to an entanglement of mental cheating.
How to avoid this outcome is to understand that a woman’s beauty is her dominant feature over a man, making him blow out his candle, wishing he were single. A man‘s dominant feature over a woman is his strength and his ability to lead and stay on course without waving. The most important action before heading into the boxing ring of success is to stay focus; always “keep your hands up and protect yourself at all times” is what they tell boxers. The psychology of women is to take a strong man and wrap him around her little finger.
If you always tell her, “baby, you are so beautiful,” and give more yes’s than no’s; you are wrapped around her little finger. Without your knowledge, she sees you as her resource, not her man. If you want to be her man, then you must apply new mannerisms.
The starting point is to let your no and yes be final. Stray from using the word “maybe” too much. Even if she is upset, stand on your word once you give it! Men…you must mean it, or don’t say it! This is why a judge goes into his chambers alone before making a ruling. The judge understands he must live with his decision. Men, see yourselves as judges; the only reason your words carry weight is because she knows you mean it! However, if she can change your mind right after you make a decision, you lack “Judge Mentality.”
Women will always get angry because they cannot have their way or new shoes, but loves the fact they could not manipulate your firm decision. Say no to her sometimes; she will not melt. Saying yes too often will cause an imbalance of leadership. Women will not respect a man she can roll over or a man that cannot stand up for himself or take charge of his life and business.
Once you subscribe to the Judge Mentality, she will test to see if you have the strength to keep your word. For example, if you tell a woman you will work out every day at 4 pm, she will entice with her beauty and favorable things she knows you enjoy right before 4 pm. She wants a man stronger than her by showing convection and commitment, keeping your word. Once you avoid her distractions and stay on track with your daily workout, she will love you even more because she has found a strong man willing to stand up for his beliefs.
Weaker men serve no purpose if she has to consistently lift you up and deal with the hopeless words of a complainer. When despair comes and weak moments take hold, who will lift this woman up?… Men?.. In today’s world, she will have to take charge because some men are crying and hiding in a fetus position. Men lets stand once more together as our grandfather’s and the “Men of old” becoming that great provider and lover of one woman. “Remember, men; in every situation, always be a man because you are a man.”
Men, do not be arrogant and succumb to the belief that you are stronger than beauty because you are spiritual, professional, or “I have a good record of being faithful.” I will guarantee there are women that will shake your core with their beautiful existences. The most powerful generals trained men to win but always had a horn that makes a sound, which means “Retreat…! Fall back… we are losing this war!”
This is what your mind will say when this woman walks into a room for the first time. Men, listen to me…let this one go! Let me explain with a story of entanglement, conquer and conquest that lead to his men dying on the battlefield. One man looks around, he is the last of his regiment, sweat and dirt cover his face. Sword in hand, the enemy approaches with speed on horseback, and he stands firm. The deaths of his friends dump beneath his feet, and he steps on their bodies to make himself taller. Takes a deep breath and drops his head, gripped with great sadness. He takes off his helmet and breastplate…tosses them aside.
He would not suffer another lie into his subconscious, not today; he knelt down on one knee to confess his transgressions to the men under his feet. He knew this battle was not for God and country, and his men were a sacrifice for his old glory. Watching the dust cloud from the horses approaching, he sat down on the bodies. The bloodstain sword that have slain so many lives slides from his hand. Tonight he would not see his men again, death is his friend, and he looked at the sunlight through the clouds one last time. Old memories of his wife and son playing in the garden forged a smile.
An arrow pierces the skin and sunk deep into his chest, two more arrows follow and finds home in his mid-section. Eyes closes softly, his body collapse, now laying with his men. A warm, bright light covers his face, the General’s eyes opens; he wakens in his bed. Premonition? Yes, a dream of what’s has to come. Later that year, the same war took place, except this time the horn sounded and his men lived. The General retired and took his family to the garden once more. He gave his sword to the next commander that would lead his men. On the wooden handle of the sword, there is a subscription in Latin, it reads, “You cannot win them all, you cannot catch them all, and you cannot love them all… fight for her.”
Being in love is an unopened gift we save for our helpmate only, do not lose this gift or tell another woman you love her. This unopened gift belongs to your helpmate to open. This is the key to a man’s heart; only one woman should have this key. Before daylight fades, tell her that you want to live, cry, and laugh, when the snow comes; growing older together won’t be spring but still wonderful! Tell her she is the real beauty of this planet, more beautiful than any flower. Look up, and one day you both will be stars, sharing your enlightened wisdom to your generations on Earth.
Message from New Frank:
If you want someone to remember important issues, always tell a story, never give advice. Remember this story, learn from the General, and walk away from this woman or career; choose not to sacrifice your family or helpmate for your glory. You will be wise to listen and understand, or the foes of the world will conquer your mind, body, and good name.
Thanks for listening or reading The Helpless Man Theory…(HMT)
For questions or comments frank1j@icloud.com
